The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
