i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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