Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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