I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
