his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
