I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Houston, we have a squirter
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
