i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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