Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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