he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
