You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want nice things and good sex
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
