I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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