Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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