You can't motorboat a personality
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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