YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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