At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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