none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
