Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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