she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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