Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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