How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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