Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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