Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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