Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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