Christians are straight up FREAKS
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
