I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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