Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize