i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
