So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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