My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize