why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
