I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize