question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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