Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
