i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
