So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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