you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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