So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
