I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
