Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
