That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
