Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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