you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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