did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we're making bets on your personal life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
