the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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