Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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