I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
