Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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