I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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