a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
