I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I could teleport
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
