I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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