My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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