Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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