So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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