We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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