VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
