just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
