i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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