My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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