I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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