is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
