ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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