I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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