I'm lost and stupid without you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
