How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
