great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
