I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
